Attachments Can Come Where Least Expected

This is not my car.  At least, it isn't anymore.  But for more than 13 years, this car was one of the very few things in my life that didn't change.  It was my car through 5 residences.  A great many friends have come & gone since then.  So much so that, other than family, only one person who was a close friend when I got it is still someone I talk to regularly, despite us now living in different states.

I was never particularly attached to this car.  It was just my car.  It was reliable enough that it went over 10 years without a major problem.  Even now, its only problems are repairable.  But the cost for those repairs had become enough to justify just replacing it instead.

I did hate some things about it.  It's got a cup holder in a weird spot that couldn't really even be used for fear of the drink falling out.  It's got automatic lights, which means they come on automatically when it gets dark.  But I also couldn't shut them off, which meant blinding the gate guards any time I went on base after dark.

I should be happy that I've now got a brand new car sitting in my garage.  And I am.  Yet, my brain isn't viewing it that way.  For some reason, I find myself not feeling like I've gained a new car but that I've lost my car.

I'm well aware that attachment to inanimate objects is typically limited to children^[1] with various exceptions for adults.  I don't think any of those things apply, as I never considered the car something I was attached to.  I never treated it any differently than the average person treats their car.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this.  It's just a weird thing to find myself having been attached to an inanimate object in such a way.  Especially for someone like me, one of the most non-emotional, non-sentimental people you could ever meet.

If you actually read this, thanks for indulging my rantiness.  Sometimes it just helps to get thoughts out, even if they don't make sense to anyone else.

I want promise the next post will make more sense, but it's on morality and addressing a Christian's questions, so...

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1.  http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2007/mar/09/psychology.uknews

Omaha Has A Few Crazy Ass Religious People

I'm a weird atheist.  I listen to Christian radio.  I go to church^[1].  Not only that, but I'm an atheist who feels bad when he goes too long without going to church.  But it's not so much guilt as it is regret in missing a show that seems like it would be fun.  Plus, it's guilt for not working on a project I care about continuing.

Recently, I've had an abundance of places I'm interested in visiting.  A local church's banner recently got the attention of Reddit.  I made it to that place and wrote about it^[2].  But there's a few other, less open minded churches, I'm still eager to investigate.  I still need to make it to Candlewood Church, the people behind the creepy^[3] UNO student group The Rock^[4].

I was mildly curious about Wellspring Lutheran Church before Hemant first wrote about their crazy ass pastor^[5].  That made me quite interested in seeing them up close.  My interest grew when their pastor caught Hemant's attention again^[6] by thinking magic is real.

Now another church in Omaha that I was mildly interested in has been moved up to the top of the list, Westside Church, in Omaha.  One of their members, Amber Dee Parker, has written a book for kids to teach them to hate^[7].

Endorsed by the American Family Association^[8]?  If that was all you knew about this book, that would be enough to know it's anti-gay.  The fact that this woman used an interracial couple^[9] for this hate-pushing book is deliciously hilarious.

I'm eager to see what her church is like.  I've got a feeling she's far from the only hateful person in there, which makes me sad because it's a massive building.

Her promotional video^[10] for this piece of shit has garnered  a couple of responses on YouTube.

[11]


[12]

Thanks to that video, I now know what she looks like.  If she's there when I am, I might get to call her a hate monger to her face.  That should be fun.

And if church members see this before I get there and kick me out, then it'll simply be a different kind of fun.

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1.  http://allthesepiouspeople.blogspot.com/
2.  http://allthesepiouspeople.blogspot.com/2013/04/moderate-christians-cognitive-dissonance.html
3.  I've heard some very disturbing stories from students describing them as very cult-like.
4.  http://youtu.be/ab2WyM6osZI
5.  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2013/05/30/christian-pastor-claims-to-have-irrefutable-mathematical-proof-for-christianity/
6.  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2013/07/12/christian-columnist-really-believes-magicians-can-levitate-because-of-satan/
7.  http://journalstar.com/news/local/same-sex-marriage-debate-comes-to-children-s-book/article_6e1e675a-192b-5c90-9f50-06dc201cbe96.html
8.  http://aparticularblogbyaparticularatheist.blogspot.com/search/label/American%20Family%20Association
9.  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2011/06/24/16-of-white-evangelical-christians-oppose-interracial-marriage/
10.  http://youtu.be/vuWLeqAe5iY
11.  http://youtu.be/aw1ZLsTSVzc
12.  http://youtu.be/JSCA42uOCac

Please Do Not Harass The Guy Who Vandalized The Atheist Monument (And Some Other Responses)

The Atheist Monument in Florida was recently vandalized^[1], but that story has a happy ending.  The young man who did it has already apologized.  He posted what appears to be a sincere apology^[2] to American Atheists' Facebook, the same place he had outed himself as the vandal.

With the picture, American Atheists posted:

The vandal, Zach, has sent us an apology, which we have accepted.

We appreciate everyone's support and completely understand and agree with your feelings about this—what he did was hurtful to our community and just reinforces the untrue idea that atheists are second-class citizens, worthy of contempt and ridicule, just because we do not believe in gods.

The vandal is just a teenager and he made a mistake. We ask people NOT to call or text him (his phone number has been leaked); two wrongs don't make a right and this is not appropriate, either. Thank you for understanding.

We have asked him to clean up the monument and send us another picture of him with it to show us that he holds no ill-will against us. We'll let you know when we hear back.

Thank you again for your support. - American Atheists

He's a minor who chews tobacco, but that's a different issue for a different day.  I'm choosing to take the apology as sincere and moving on.  Although, I really don't even care if it's sincere or not.  If it turns out that it's not at all sincere, the point that we don't deserve such mistreatment has been made.  That's why I want to highlight American Atheists' request.

If you've received his phone number since it was leaked, please do not use.  Please do not harass this young man.  The point's been made.  It's time to move on.

But while Zach did the right thing, there's one person who didn't get it^[3].

"Fuck yo shit! U come in our town on our terf! The commandments weren't hurtin a damn soul! Yall started this shit! Now its our move! Maybe he shouldn't have spit on it but shit it does rain ya know! Stupid dumbass! U wont a police report? What happened to seperation of religious and state matters? Haha ur a joke! U want a war u got one! Hes a kid who's angry and feels stepped on! Thats why he did that shit! How much have Christians been persecuted?!?! And u wanna bitch cuz some kid spit on your rock? Ur fucking pathetic all of you!"

Fortunately, this grammar & logic deprived individual and moderately racist^[4] doesn't appear to be representative of the reaction from Christians.

Also posted on the American Atheists Facebook^[5] was:

This is an apology from those that stand on the non-ignorant side of the people that actually understand and follow the laws of Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Religion. 

Some kids in our town (Keystone) were brought up on extremist Christian ways and in some churches it is so bad that they can be considered a cult. The fact that the American Atheists Inc built a monument not 30 feet from the 10 Commandments at the courthouse in Bradford County really irritated a bunch of people in our area. But there are a handful of liberal minded and forgiving, not to mention understanding, people here that do not wish to thrash the name of other religions. Some Atheists, some Christians. Keystone may seem like the Christian melting pot due to its high populated area of churches, but there are a few that I am even friends with that follow other religions such as Atheism, Hinduism, and Wicca. I find it funny how those who follow the religions that are not Christianity are less aggressive to others. While Christians on the other hand are more than willing to smite those who act against people who don't follow God. 

I am ashamed to be surrounded by such pig-headed and closed minded people. I apologize for them.

It's kind of ranty and makes the mistake of calling atheism a religion, but the point is that a Christian is rightly condemning the behavior of other Christians.  Another was this picture sent via Twitter^[6].

All 4 of these are a good thing.  Even the negative one.  This collection of responses shows that open minded Christians will respect our rights and racist morons like Ace will be the kind of haters that are the example of what we're fighting against, with the apparent help of some Christians.

I've seen people complain about this monument, saying that it's a waste of money.  Or that it's focusing on the wrong thing.  I think this shows that those criticism are nonsense.  The publicity and good will garnered from just this incident has been worth the cost of this granite bench.

I'm looking forward the atheist monuments that follow.

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1.  http://aparticularblogbyaparticularatheist.blogspot.com/2013/07/christian-shows-what-he-thinks-of.html
2.  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151715134537418&set=a.495249962417.276326.71352317417&type=1
3.  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=601168653260565&set=o.71352317417&type=1
4.  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=589951394382291&set=o.71352317417&type=1
5.  https://www.facebook.com/AmericanAtheists/posts/10151715412632418
6.  https://twitter.com/HaruhiKatrina/status/359111694175305729

Christian Shows What He Thinks Of The Atheist Monument, Doesn't Use His Brain

Many Christians weren't happy about the Atheist Monument^[1] that recently went up in Florida.  One in particular recently did what we all knew was inevitable.  Vandalism.

Photo Source:  American Atheists^[2]

Fortunately, it's minor damage that hopefully can simply be washed off.  Although, the point is how brazen people think they can be in committing such acts.  They think they can damage our shit with no consequences, because of the out of control Christian privilege.  They're so bold with it, this guy photographed it and posted it on American Atheists' Facebook page^[3] to brag about it.

Note their response to it.  They've alerted the police and will let them decide what to do about it.  That's what it takes to show people like Mr Osborne that they we're not going to take their abuse.  A previous proactive response to something is what prompted my decision to join American Atheists.  This makes me glad I did.  Both were done by Dave Muscato, American Atheists' Public Relations Director^[4].  He was a good hire, and now I think I can say that without it because of the personal bias I have from having known and respected him before he got that job.

Imagine how Christians would react if an atheist did this to any Ten Commandments monument.  They wouldn't simply alert police.  They'd lose their fucking minds over it.  They'd be out for blood.

We already know how Dave Silverman would react to it.  He'd denounce it^[5].  I wonder how many Christians will do the same.  I wonder how many will praise it.  There's sure to be Christians of both kinds, but I wonder which group will be larger.  I have my suspicions, but time will tell.

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1.  http://aparticularblogbyaparticularatheist.blogspot.com/2013/06/such-christian-responses-to-atheist.html
2.  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151713368867418&set=a.495249962417.276326.71352317417&type=1
3.  https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=546274018741029&set=o.71352317417&type=1
4.  http://atheists.org/about-us/staff
5.  https://twitter.com/MrAtheistPants/status/337266068357799936

Bryan Fischer: Liz Cheney Is Not Enough Of A Bigot

Liz Cheney, daughter of former Vice President Dick Cheney^[1], is as right wing as her father^[2].  She's the kind of right wing that makes one a regular on Hannity to accuse the President of whatever they can find to pull out of their asses.

[3]

You would think that's good enough for American Family Association's^[4]  Bryan Fischer, who is no fan of Muslims^[5].  But there's one thing Fischer hates more than he hates Muslims^[6].

Bryan Fischer really hates the gays^[7].  Or as he puts it, "homofascists"^[8].  So despite all Liz Cheney's hate, it's not good enough for Bryan Fischer^[9].

Although I’m not aware that she has declared a position on ENDA, in 2009 she supported the State Department’s decision, in flagrant violation of DOMA, the law of the land at the time, to extend benefits to same-sex partners.

Said Ms. Cheney, “I think it’s wrong to discriminate, in those relationships, based on someone’s sexual preference.” Homosexual activists prefer her to Enzi^[10] for the sole reason that she just might be a “sleeper vote for LGBT rights.”

She supported the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, which is driving values-based members of the military out of the service and ushering in militant homosexuals. Currently, 55-60% of  all sexual assaults in the military now, thanks in part to the DADT repeal, are committed by homosexuals.

Fischer doesn't like that at different times, she's either refused to take a stand against gays' civil rights and actively supported equality.  He doesn't like her lack of bigotry against homosexuals like her sister^[11], he thinks it means she'll be responsible for the end of all us.

George Washington famously said, “Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, religion and morality are indispensable supports. In vain would that man claim the tribute of patriotism who should labor to subvert these great pillars of human happiness.”

The bottom line: Liz Cheney is not, under Washington’s definition, a patriot. She will throw her weight behind those who are placing improvised explosive devices beneath both of Washington’s indispensable pillars. When the roof collapses on us all, those who supported Liz Cheney will be partly to blame.

I love watching this crazy asshole lose his shit over people getting the equal rights they deserve.  His brand of hatred is losing.  Even Republicans are coming around to the right side^[12].  Soon we'll correct this error by allowing everyone to marry, and bigots like Fischer can just fucking deal with it until they die out and go the way of segregationists.

[13]

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1.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/11/dick-cheney-heckled-cpac-war-criminal_n_821591.html
2.  http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2013/07/17/2313551/liz-cheney-senate-primary/?mobile=nc
3.  http://youtu.be/UlIpJbVW7dk
4.  http://www.splcenter.org/get-informed/intelligence-files/groups/american-family-association
5.  http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/03/bryan_fischer_muslims_have_no_first_amendment_righ.php
6.  https://twitter.com/BryanJFischer/status/356817349283823616
7.  http://aparticularblogbyaparticularatheist.blogspot.com/2013/06/bryan-fischer-being-unhappy-makes-me.html
8.  http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/04/12/bryan-fischer-homofascists-will-treat-christians-like-jews-in-the-holocaust/
9.  http://www.afa.net/Blogs/BlogPost.aspx?id=2147537172
10.  http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/07/16/1224242/-Liz-Cheney-Possible-Sleeper-Vote-for-LGBT-Equality-in-the-Senate
11.  http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/post/mary-cheney-gets-married/2012/06/22/gJQAHbJsvV_blog.html
12.  http://www.policymic.com/articles/31091/republican-support-for-gay-marriage-jumps-to-52-percent
13.  http://weknowmemes.com/2012/05/imagine-how-stupid-you-are-going-to-look-in-40-years/

Vatican Offers Heaven For Twitter Follows

I've seen some interesting ways people have attempted to get more Twitter followers^[1].  And I've seen all kinds of bullshit by religion^[2].  Now I've seen them together^[3].

In its latest attempt to keep up with the times the Vatican has married one of its oldest traditions to the world of social media by offering "indulgences" to followers of Pope Francis' tweets.

The church's granted indulgences reduce the time Catholics believe they will have to spend in purgatory after they have confessed and been absolved of their sins.

The remissions got a bad name in the Middle Ages because unscrupulous churchmen sold them for large sums of money. But now indulgences are being applied to the 21st century.

It's immoral enough to tell people they'll be punished after they die.  It's even more immoral to tell them they'll still be so punished if they follow all the rules of the religion.  These so called "indulgences" aren't indulgences.  It's not like they're ways for people to indulge in things they wouldn't otherwise.  They're just bread crumbs to throw to your religion's followers to get them to do things you want them to.

And now the Vatican is using them for something as petty as getting followers for the Pope on Twitter^[4].  What the fuck, Vatican?  You've stooped to using the power of your massive church to get a bigger Klout^[5] score?

I'm on Twitter^[6] too, but I promise nothing to people for following me.  Not even a follow back, even though it's likely to happen as long as you're a real person and not a douchebag.  As a side note, the article states he's got more than 7 million followers, but it's only 2.6 million.

But back to this bullshit about indulgences.  They offer these things for a variety of things^[7].  As far as I can tell, turning in a priest for molesting a child isn't among them.  Apparently their god is more concerned about getting the Pope more followers than Bieber^[8] & Gaga^[9] than protecting children from being raped or punishing the sick fucks who raped children.

If evil exists, the Vatican is it.

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1.  http://gawker.com/5826960/update-only-92-of-newt-gingrichs-twitter-followers-are-fake
2.  Why Are You Atheists So Angry? 99 Things That Piss Off the Godless
3.  http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jul/16/vatican-indulgences-pope-francis-tweets
4.  https://twitter.com/Pontiffex
5.  http://klout.com/#/Pontifex
6.  https://twitter.com/aparticularA
7.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indulgence#Actions_for_which_indulgences_are_granted
8.  https://twitter.com/justinbieber
9.  https://twitter.com/ladygaga

I'm With JT Eberhard, Who Is With Ed Brayton

Joe Klein's Time cover story^[1] took a cheap shot^[2] at atheists, claiming there are no secular people doing charity.  Ed Brayton wrote to them^[3] about it.  So has JT Eberhard^[4].  And so have I:

I cannot help but be disappointed by the recent remarks in your publication by Joe Klein regarding atheists and charity^[1].  He wrote: 

"But there was an occupying army of relief workers, led by local first responders, exhausted but still humping it a week after the storm, church groups from all over the country — funny how you don’t see organized groups of secular humanists giving out hot meals — and there in the middle of it all, with a purposeful military swagger, were the volunteers from Team Rubicon."

On top of this being a demonstrably untrue statement , it's unnecessarily hurtful.  Atheists face enough problems^[6] without a cover story from one of the world's most respected publications taking cheap shots at us.  Nearly all of us have been told we deserve to burn in Hell forever.  Many atheists have a justified fear of their family or employers knowing of their lack of belief.  I've had friends disowned from family solely due to their atheism.  Others have lost jobs.

The word "godless" has as a listed definition^[7]:  "wicked; evil; sinful."  In other words, people treat atheism as synonymous with being evil.  We are constantly faced with claims that we cannot be moral without a god.

Atheists are often prohibited from holding public office in a variety of ways.  The US Constitution states^[8] "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States," but several states still have laws specifically prohibiting us from qualifying for elected positions.

The general electorate often refuses to vote for anyone who doesn't profess a belief in a god.  While people recently have become more willing to vote for an atheist for President^[9], we've still got a long way to go^[10].

Atheists face these issues and many others^[11].  We don't need a voice as prominent as Time making things worse.  That's why I'm writing to ask you to make up for it by doing a story on atheist charities such as The Foundation Beyond Belief^[12] or Recovering From Religion^[13] & their Hotline Project^[14].  Because the Klein article was a cover story, I think it's fair to ask that this story be given equal treatment.  Plus, it's not like they're not worthy of such coverage.  

Foundation Beyond Belief recently reached the milestone of a million dollars raised^[15].  That amount includes more than $45,000 related to the Oklahoma tornadoes, the very disaster Klein accused atheists of not helping after.  And Recovering From Religion helps people negatively impacted by religion, because of attitudes expressed by Klein, the other issues I listed above, and various others.

I hope you'll make things right rather than let Klein's slap in the face go uncorrected.

Time should make up for giving that bigotry the credibility that comes from a cover story in their publication.  And it's not outside of the realm of possibilities.  The more requests they get, the more likely they are to do a story on atheist charity.

So, please write to them and politely request they do so.

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1.  http://nation.time.com/2013/06/20/can-service-save-us/print/
2.  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2013/06/25/joe-klein-offers-a-pathetic-rebuttal-in-response-to-criticism-of-his-attack-on-atheists-in-time-cover-story/
3.  http://freethoughtblogs.com/dispatches/2013/06/27/tell-time-to-stop-dismissing-secular-generosity/
4.  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/wwjtd/2013/06/im-with-ed-brayton-its-time-to-email-time/
5.  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2013/05/30/what-are-atheists-doing-for-the-victims-of-the-oklahoma-tornado/
6.  http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/religion/story/2011-12-10/religion-atheism/51777612/1
7.  http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/godless
8.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Religious_Test_Clause
9.  http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/religion/story/2012-07-26/athiest-poll-president/56516466/1
10.  http://abcnews.go.com/politics/t/blogEntry?id=16623786
11.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discrimination_against_atheists
12.  http://foundationbeyondbelief.org/
13.  http://recoveringfromreligion.org/
14.  http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2013/06/04/atheists-to-start-1-800-hotline/comment-page-8/
15.  http://foundationbeyondbelief.org/node/1867

Four Years Ago - Some Thoughts On Grief

It happened 4 years ago today.  I was on the way out the door to drive to Kansas City to spend the holiday weekend with some friends when I got a text to go over to my brother's.  He had something to tell me that he wouldn't tell me over the phone.  That could only mean someone had died.

I was expecting it to be our grandmother or our great-aunt, both who've had failing health in recent years.  But I was wrong.  It was our father.

Maybe it was the fact that I'm a bit of an emotional robot.  Maybe it was me never having a belief in any afterlife.  Maybe it was something else entirely.  But I instantly skipped the first four stages of grief^[1] and accepted that he was gone.

I've experienced anger due to his death, but I wouldn't qualify it as being part of the grief.  It was justified anger at the hospital staff who didn't do their jobs^[2].  I do experience occasional sadness during times his presence would be most desired, like when I want to get his opinion on something or I find a new game I think he'd enjoy.

Denial and bargaining are things I never experienced.  Denying it never seemed like a productive use of my time.  Who the hell would I bargain with?  And for what?  To make him rise from the dead?

Sometimes I wonder how my reaction would be different if had ever believed in Heaven or any other afterlife.  I suppose the idea that he lives on in Heaven could give me comfort if I thought it were true.  But even many believers question its existence.  Is a shaky idea of an afterlife barely believed in any comfort to the grieving?

I'm sure many can compartmentalize enough to achieve proper acceptance, but I'm sure many others never do.  For instance, I've had Christians tell me, with sincere belief, that we never die.  They think we simply go to either Heaven or Hell, where we live on forever.  The idea of them achieving acceptance seems unlikely if they don't actually think their loved ones are dead.  Maybe they don't actually grieve then, but I doubt that too.  Surely, they miss those who are gone, no matter where they think they've gone.

How is closure achieved if the grief stage of denial is preserved by a religious idea that encourages us to pretend the dead are not really dead?  Do believers in an afterlife ever really accept that people are dead?

For me, I'm glad that I don't think my father has gone to Heaven.  I'll never see him again, and I'm not happy about that.  But I'm happy that I'm not living a lie about it.  A comforting lie is still a lie.

Besides the fact that it's not real^[3], I see the notion of an afterlife to be a waste.  If I thought my father lived on elsewhere, I'd probably have less appreciation for the 29 years I knew him.  If I thought I would live on after my time on Earth, I'd have far less appreciation for that time.  An average of 70-some years is nothing compared to eternity.  But it's a hell of a lot when it's all you've got.

Death sucks^[4].  But so would eternity.  It would suck infinitely.  Some people sure seem to like the idea of an afterlife.  But I just don't get it.

Believers can have their delusions if that's their desire.  For me, I'll stick to reality.  I'll stick to my grief being a reminder to appreciate what I've still got.  I'll stick to doing my best to appreciate my limited time in this life and my limited time with the people in it.

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1.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model
2.  Something I can't go into further for the obvious legal reasons.
3.  http://news.yahoo.com/proof-heaven-author-now-thoroughly-debunked-science-131711093.html
4.  http://youtu.be/njfJ8Kp1jVc

Discrimination Affects More Than The Intended Target And Sometimes Backfires

The following story is vague on certain details. This is intentional.

When I joined my local atheist group, they had a regularly scheduled dinner at the same place once a month.  For those regularly scheduled dinners, we nearly always had the same waitress.  She once stated that she wasn't atheist, but only because it came up in a conversation.  She never attempted to, in any way, tell us we were wrong.  She was friendly and good at her job, never even writing any orders down.  She made the occasional mistake, but far less than you'd expect for a group that large, (ranging from 20 to 60 people) and less than someone who did write orders down.

The service was sometimes slow, but that was only when our regular waitress was not there or she was not receiving enough help from her coworkers.  We never really knew the cause of this until we went there outside of our regular dinner there, on a Sunday evening last August.

We had just wrapped up the Midwest Freethought Conference (now known as Apostacon^[1]).  We were hungry and had some time before PZ Myers^[2] had to be to the airport.  A few of the volunteers, along with Jerry DeWitt^[3] (who had driven from Louisiana) and PZ, went to our regular place for some dinner.

That day, our service was absolutely terrible.  It took nearly half an hour to even get a waitress to take our orders.  Once that was finally accomplished, the waitress we had was surly the entire time.  Then it took a long time to get our checks, which she hadn't split for the roughly 10 of us there.  When we asked for them to be split, she said their computers could not do it.  As regulars to this place, we knew that wasn't true.

When our regular waitress learned of this, she let us know that some of the staff there had refused to serve the atheists.  Learning this explained so much about our service at this restaurant, especially for that Sunday.  It was to our regular waitress's benefit, as she thoroughly liked us as customers and had specifically requested to work the nights we were there.  I don't blame her.  We're fun people and we tip well.

A few months ago, she left that job, which left us without our regular waitress.  This month, that meant the new girl drew the short straw from the staff, many of whom had already refused to serve us.  A young woman, new to waitressing, got the group of more than 30 people.  She had some help bringing food out when it was ready, but it was soon clear that it was not enough.

She was feeling overwhelmed, and it was apparent that it was because of circumstances outside of her control.  It wasn't until later that we confirmed there had been disagreement on who had to serve us, specifically because of what kind of group we were.  After all that time, they still had a problem with us.

Our young waitress had begun the night expecting to have a bad night because of her atheist customers, because of public perception about atheists^[4] and the general perception of atheists among the staff.  I don't blame her for having this expectation.

We're vilified^[5] as regular practice by governors and former Presidential candidates.  We're called evil^[6] on a regular basis.  As unfortunate as the truth often is, her fear of us was to be expected.

While she spent most of the night on the verge of tears, it wasn't for the reasons she was expecting to have caused her grief that night.  She had never dealt with a large group before and she was getting very little help from her coworkers, despite our party amounting to at least half the people there that night.

Later that night, when the most of our crowd had gone, she had the chance to relax.  She had the chance to tell us how we nothing like she had expected.  Of course we weren't.  We're awesome.  We tip well, something for which she now has evidence.  We're nice, something she has experienced first hand.  Something which she might tell people the next time she hears someone bad mouth atheists.

And as an added bonus, she now knows that the next time we're her customers, she's likely to have a good night.  She'll be around good people, who are nice to her.  And she'll definitely have a better night of tips than any other waitress in the place.

Atheist activism isn't only about protecting the Separation of Church state by challenging Ten Commandments monuments on public property or fighting Creationism being taught in our schools.  It's not just counter protesting rallies by the so-called "Pro-Life" crowd.

Sometimes all it takes being open about being an atheist around a believer.  Sometimes all it takes is being nice to your waitress, which you should be doing anyway.  Sometimes it just takes being yourself^[7].

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1.  http://www.apostacon.org/
2.  http://aparticularblogbyaparticularatheist.blogspot.com/search/label/PZ%20Myers
3.  http://aparticularblogbyaparticularatheist.blogspot.com/search/label/Jerry%20DeWitt
4.  http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/religion/story/2011-12-10/religion-atheism/51777612/1
5.  http://www.dallasnews.com/news/columnists/jacquielynn-floyd/20120920-gov.-rick-perry-vs.-satan-secular-humanists-and-american-constitutional-history.ece
6.  http://www.acceptingabundance.com/atheism-a-growing-evil/
7.  http://aparticularblogbyaparticularatheist.blogspot.com/2013/02/coming-out-can-be-contagious.html