When The Next One Happens

I've long since become desensitized to mass shootings.  I didn't stop caring that innocent people keep getting murdered.  I'll never stop caring about that.  I've just stopped being interested in the story when it happens.  And I've stopped pretending we're going to do a damn thing to stop it from happening.

We're not going to do anything about it.  We're going to keep letting right wing politicians and pundits tell us that it's "too soon" to talk about gun control because that's "politicizing a tragedy".  We won't actually fight for any real gun reform, even though we know it would work.

We're going to keep letting them distract from the gun issue to make it about mental illness.  But we won't fight for any meaningful action about mental illness.  We'll let them scapegoat the mentally ill and blame them for these tragedies while doing nothing to help either problem.

We're going to keep letting them blame secularism rather than the guns.  They'll keep saying people get murdered because they need Jesus.  Sure, we'll bitch about them on the Internet.  But we won't put them in their place anywhere of consequence, like a legislature.

We're so used to these things happening, Presidential candidates casually refer to "the next one".  Because we all know there will be more.

We're not going to do anything to fix it.  We've even shown indifference to elementary school children being murdered.  After ignoring that, what the fuck would it take for us to fix it.

The pattern is so predictable, The Daily Show can joke about prerecording their responses to it.  Anyone could prerecord a response to the next one and have it work.  Because it's the same fucking thing every time.

Mass shootings are a part of our culture that, for a variety reasons, we're not ready to give up.  I refuse to pretend we are ready until we are actually doing something outside of the script.

Unfortunately, that time isn't coming any time soon.

How do I know?  I wrote most of this after the Aurora shooting and just updated it with current references.

I can write this without even mentioning which shooting, and most people reading it will probably have a different one in mind.  Especially since there have been 4 shootings since the one I most recently wrote this for.

Interviews, Anxiety, and Society

I'm sitting here waiting for a phone call from a reporter with the Omaha World Herald.

This should not elevate my heart rate, and yet it does.

I shouldn't be worried about saying something to hurt Omaha Atheists or Apostacon.  I've done this before.  And yet I am.

I shouldn't worry about the reporter surprising me with a hidden agenda against us.  He already has a history of treating us fairly, and there's no reason to expect he'll behave differently today.  And yet those thoughts are in my head.

I should not go through this neurotic thought process before every interview or conversation with someone new.  And yet I do.

I shouldn't have lost sleep over this.  And yet I did.

My brain should not play tricks on me like this.  And yet it does.

There should not be a negative stigma from society for people like me, whose brains play tricks on us.  And yet there is.

I should not be ashamed of having a brain that plays these tricks on me.  And I'm not.

Robin Williams Died From A Disease, NOT A Choice

Robin Williams suffered from Depression, a very real medical condition that threatens the lives of its victims.

Feeling sad, or what we may call "depressed", happens to all of us. The sensation usually passes after a while. However, people with a depressive disorder - clinical depression - find that their state interferes with daily life.

For people with clinical depression, their normal functioning is undermined to such an extent that both they and those who care about them are affected by it.

It's not just something people can "get over", because that's not how Depression works.  When someone with Depression takes their own life, it's not a selfish act as some say.

Others will claim the resulting suicide is a mere choice of the sufferer.

It’s a tragic choice, truly, but it is a choice, and we have to remember that. Your suicide doesn’t happen to you; it doesn’t attack you like cancer or descend upon you like a tornado. It is a decision made by an individual. A bad decision. Always a bad decision.

Except that, if you have it, Depression DOES happen to you.  Walsh displays a profound failure to understand what Depression really is in his proclamations about it.

First, suicide does not claim anyone against their will. No matter how depressed you are, you never have to make that choice. That choice. Whether you call depression a disease or not, please don’t make the mistake of saying that someone who commits suicide “died from depression.” No, he died from his choice. He died by his own hand. Depression will not appear on the autopsy report, because it can’t kill you on its own. It needs you to pull the trigger, take the pills, or hang the rope. To act like death by suicide is exactly analogous to death by malaria or heart failure is to steal hope from the suicidal person. We think we are comforting him, but in fact we are convincing him that he is powerless. We are giving him a way out, an excuse. Sometimes that’s all he needs — the last straw.

He's technically correct in saying that a choice is involved.  His failure to understand lies in the place where that choice is made.  He fails to understand what leads to that choice.  He fails to understand how Depression puts people in a position of non-stop suffering.

Depression tortures people from within their own minds.  It puts them in a place where death is seen as the only possibility of escape from that torture.

Second, we can debate medication dosages and psychotherapy treatments, but, in the end, joy is the only thing that defeats depression. No depressed person in the history of the world has ever been in the depths of despair and at the heights of joy at the same time. The two cannot coexist. Joy is light, depression is darkness. When we are depressed, we have trouble seeing joy, or feeling it, or feeling worthy of it. I know that in my worst times, at my lowest points, it’s not that I don’t see the joy in creation, it’s just that I think myself too awful and sinful a man to share in it.

He almost gets it right, and yet still misses the mark by as far as it can be missed.  Depression causes sadness that overrides any potential joy.  It's a medical condition that causes sadness.  It's something quite different from a mere lack of joy.  If Walsh deals with Depression as he claims, he should know better.

But instead, he's even worse, calling it a spiritual condition.

I can understand atheists who insist that depression must only be a disease of the brain, as they believe that our entire being is contained by, and comprised of, our physical bodies. But I don’t understand how theists, who acknowledge the existence of the soul, think they can draw some clear line of distinction between the body and the soul, and declare unequivocally that depression is rooted in one but not the other. This is a radically materialist view now shared by millions of spiritualist people.

All this nonsense does is reinforce the idea that a sufferer of Depression has no hope.  It tells them that their medical issue is not something that can be overcome with medicine.  It's spiritual.  It tells people that their Depression can be overcome by simply praying and getting to closer to their God.  And when that inevitably doesn't work, it tells them that their continued Depression is their own fault for not being close enough to that god for them to be healed.

Walsh says he doesn't understand how theists can have a proper understanding of Depression.  Here's what one, Christian blogger Chris Attaway, had to say to that.

We don't expect people with Downs syndrome to perform rocket science. We don't expect people with cerebral palsy to perform at the Olympic level. We never fault them for this, and we do our best to love them and support them in their limitations.

Why, then, do we treat people with depression and similar illnesses as though they should be able to perform at a level well above the limitations of their disease? Why do some people -- like Matt Walsh, the consistently insensitive "Christian" blogger -- try to fault people for not making all the right choices, even when those people have problems which preclude making all the right choices?

People like Matt Walsh aren't helping, because their backward view of mental illness treats as a matter of choice, rather than the legitimate medical condition it is.  They're perpetuating nonsense.

I pity anyone who suffers from mental illness and only has people like Walsh as support.  But we can mitigate the damage done by Walsh's nonsense by being vocal against it.  If you make it known that you will be supportive, rather than judgmental, you may end up being the only person someone has to come to when they need such help.

Because we certainly don't want them to going to people who will shame them for something absolutely no one should be ashamed of.

Some tributes to Williams that I've liked:

To stab the giant in the eye (RIP Robin Williams)

'He was a hero to me': Paul F. Tompkins on Robin Williams

5 Times Robin Williams Was Pretty Much the Best Guy Ever

Robin Williams and Why Funny People Kill Themselves

Robin Williams: When depression kills

Robin Williams's death: a reminder that suicide and depression are not selfish

Robin Williams’s Verdict on Life

Depression And Robin Williams

I've seen a lot of sorrow over the death of Robin Williams.  Mostly paired with sentiments of him bringing people joy.

Depression doesn't discriminate.  Sometimes it even horribly haunts people who outwardly appear happy and bring joy to millions.

If you find yourself in such a situation, please know that it should come with no shame.  No matter what shitty things our society says about mental illness, it's a legitimate medical issue and deserves to be treated as such.  If you're a sufferer, please seek whatever help you need.

If you know a sufferer, please be receptive, supportive, and non-judgmental when that help is sought.  You just may save a life you didn't even know was in danger.

Secular Therapy Project Reaches 3000 Clients

The Secular Therapy Project helps people find a doctor for their mental health, who won't push religion on their patients.  Recently, they reached a promising milestone with their 3000th client.  From Recovering From Religion's press release:

March 28, 2014 – FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – The Secular Therapist Project, a program of the non-profit organization Recovering From Religion, is thrilled to announce the registration of their 3,000^th client.

Program Director Dr. Darrel Ray states, “The Secular Therapist Project is an innovative resource connecting clients, via a confidential database, with registered secular therapists near them. Many of our clients reach out to us after growing frustrated from their previous providers. They’re being told to follow the recommendations of their pastors, who are usually unlicensed in mental health issues, or to just find another church. Some of our clients even report therapists insisting on “the power of prayer” or practicing new age gimmicks like “realigning your chakras” during therapy sessions. Many of our registered therapists also offer distance counseling, allowing clients in heavily religious areas to remotely access reliable mental health resources and care. “

“The rate of client growth has accelerated steadily since the project started in 2012, adding 1,000 clients in only the last 7 months. There are currently 171 registered secular therapists, all fully qualified, who applied to join the project via the website at www.seculartherapy.org. As of January 2014, 75% of Secular Therapist Project therapists have been contacted by one or more potential clients, 48% have been contacted by four or more, and 11% have been contacted by 10-20 new clients. The feedback received from clients regarding their experiences with therapists they’ve found through the database is overwhelmingly positive.

Executive Director Sarah Morehead adds, “This is clearly a valuable resource to so many, and we are thrilled at the ongoing success of this fantastic program. We are regularly in contact with people who have decided religion or supernatural answers are not for them, yet their only options for mental health care use supernatural recommendations. For those who want a reliable alternative to “alternative” mental health care, this is it.”

Registration and call contact with therapists is free, private, and confidential at www.seculartherapy.org. Recovering From Religion is led by Executive Director Sarah Morehead and provides practical support and resources to individuals reconsidering the role of religion in their lives.
###

Contact: Dr. Darrel Ray § Secular Therapist Project Program Director § Recovering From Religion
(512) 666-4630 § darrel@recoveringfromreligion.org § www.recoveringfromreligion.org
10940 Parallel Pkwy, Suite K-145 §  KS 66109

If you know a therapist who would qualify, please encourage them to sign up.

Saturday Morning Shares - 03-16-2013

Here's the links & tweets to share from the last week.  Please add any fun or informative stories I missed in the comments.

Not At All About Religion:

Meet the woman with the world’s strongest VAGINA (via Todd N Tyler Radio Empire)

designed-for-life: Invisible Farm (via @ZacharyNelson)

Seals Yelling Like Goats Yelling Like Humans (via @mashable)

R2-D2 Papercraft  (via @MattersofGrey)

(via @thinkgeek)

Don't Be Offended. Seriously, Don't. (via @SethMacFarlane)

Secular Coalition of America's Weekly Update:

National Secular Movement Update Call (03/14/2013)

About Religion:

Young, Sick and Invisible: A Skeptic's Journey With Chronic Illness (via @jteberhard)

Humanist Essay Contest (via @Teresamacbain)

(Thanks to Kevin, fellow fan of Atheist Experience & Non-Prophets)

(via @hemantmehta)

My father, the hate preacher: Nate Phelps on escaping Westboro Baptist Church (via @OuRR_World)

Petition Interdiction: Tenn. Legislator Seeks To Make It A Crime To Protest Church-State Violations

CIA Director takes his oath of office the right way. (via @jteberhard)

Last Year, Atheists Raised $430,000 for Cancer Research; Let’s Do Even Better This Year (via @hemantmehta)

Next Week Is ‘A’ Week (via Omaha Atheists)

Pope Stuff:

Who Is Pope Francis? (via @hemantmehta)

New Pope, Same Old Homophobia (via @hemantmehta)

Cardinal Archbishop of Buenos Aires Rages Against Abortion “Death Sentence” (via @hemantmehta)

All Of These Pope Twitter And Facebook Accounts Are Fake  (via @Alyssa_Milano)

What a New Pope Means for Atheists (via @hemantmehta)

Pope Francis in 92 Seconds (via @mashable)

(via Satan, thanks to Sarah for sharing)

Asshole Of The Week:

Jennifer Lawrence & Mental Illness

In an interview with Omaha morning radio show Todd and Tyler^[1], after The Bill Engvall Show^[2] had ended, Engvall had high praise for Jennifer Lawrence, saying he wasn't surprised by her Oscar nomination for Winter's Bone and that he expected more to come.

That good but short lived sitcom is still the only work of Lawrence's I've seen.  I had no interest in Winter's Bone and still don't.  I wanted to see The Hunger Games, but I just never got around to it.  I'm sure I'll see it eventually. 

I've wanted to see Silver Linings Playbook, for which Lawrence won an Oscar last night, since the previews for it started but again haven't gotten around to it.  After reading her recent interview^[3], I'm more encouraged to get my ass to the theater to support the film and its message.

She talks about her views on mental health and suggests the film's director shares those views.  

On how her Oscar will champion the effort to help the mentally ill: "I don't think we're going to stop until we get rid of the stigma for mental illness. I know David won't. And I hope that this helps. It's so bizarre how in this world, if you have asthma, you take asthma medicine; if you have diabetes, you take diabetes medicine; but as soon as you have to take medication for your mind, there's such a stigma behind it."

And she's right in comparing mental illness to asthma.  For too long, we've attached a stigma to legitimate health issues that deserve to be viewed as any other.  We do not shame people for having cancer, even if they might have caused it themselves by drinking and smoking heavily^[4]. 

We shouldn't shame people for being bipolar or schizophrenic.  Good for Jennifer Lawrence for using her talent and subsequent spotlight to say so.

And for anyone who insists on continuing the stigma, I'll share this gesture with you.

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1.  http://www.tntradioempire.com/
2.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bill_Engvall_Show
3.  Was Jennifer Lawrence's Oscar Fall 'On Purpose'?
4.  Christopher Hitchens and His Battle with Esophageal Cancer