A Coming Out Story, And The Insidious Nature Of Religion

Recovering From Religion often tweets/posts good questions to provoke conversation.  Here's one from yesterday.

QOTD: What is your "coming out as a nonbeliever" story? http://t.co/dOaDXXMAQb
— OuRR_World (@OuRR_World) July 18, 2014

So, here's a short story of me coming out as a non-believer.

Having always been an atheist, I went into college as an atheist.  I was not yet an activist.  I don't think I even really identified as the word "atheist".  By that point, I had put very little thought into it all.  Even after spending 6 years in a church youth group while openly not believing and not participating in most of the few religious things they did.

When making friends, I put zero thought into their religion.  I didn't give a shit about their religion even when I befriended a girl who always wore the same cross necklace.  The only reason I even noticed the cross was because it was the only way I could tell her apart from her identical twin sister.  The only time I ever remarked on the necklace was to request that she keep wearing it until I could tell them apart without it.

I enjoyed my friendship with the pair of them, who were my lunch companions every day for the first several months I was at college.  We never argued over our religious differences.  Those differences never came up at all.  I honestly don't even know the exact point they found out (or figured out) that I was an atheist.  I never made a point of telling them.  At least not until it came up.

One day, they decided to invite me to a meeting of a group they belonged.  Fellowship of Christian Athletes.  Maybe they thought I was Christian and had made the same assumption most people do.  Maybe this was the moment they found out I was not a Christian.  Either way, their response to me telling them I'd be out of place in that group because I was neither of those things (Christian or Athlete) changed the nature of our relationship forever.

"We don't want you to go to Hell."

I'd been around religious people all my life, but that was the first time anyone had suggested that my fate possibly involved Hell.

My response was not fear.  Hell is often used to scare people into believing, but Hell was never something capable of inducing fear in me.  I'm not wired that way.

My response not offense either.  While I find the concept of Hell offensive, I took the invitation as them wanting to include their friend in a group they enjoyed.  And I took the bit about Hell as them being genuinely concerned for my fate, not wanting me to suffer.

Nevertheless, that incident meant the end of two friendships I valued.  I do not recall if it was me or them who pulled away.  I never held ill will toward them, and I never had any reason to believe either of them did so toward me.  There was no fighting.  No arguing.  There was only that one implication that I was going to Hell.  We simply drifted apart.  It was not even until years later that I realized this incident was the cause of us drifting apart, but I have no doubt that it was.  And I have no doubt that this was not the only time in my life this has happened to me.

I still regret that we didn't remain friends.  They were fun.  They were good people.  Two good people that I lost from my life all because of their religion and what it says about people who do not share that religion.

Religion does not just cause obvious harm.  It's not always family we lose because of it.  It's more insidious than that.  Sometimes it just quietly kills the relationships between people who found each other and would otherwise be quite close.

Congratulations To 2013's Atheist Of The Year, Sarah Morehead

Despite having a day of heavy people interacting while tabling for Apostacon, I picked the wrong night head out of the convention to have some introvert time.  I say this because after getting to my hotel room, I saw this posted.

My bias on this issue is all over this blog, in the form of my support for Recovering From Religion.  But even with that, and having not yet learned American Atheists' stated reasons for choosing Sarah Morehead for this award, I feel safe saying this award was well deserved.

Sarah Morehead has worked tirelessly to make Recovering From Religion grow into an international organization that provides real help to real people suffering real harm from religion.  I can think of no group that is more underrated than Recovering From Religion.

On top of that, they've got the Hotline Project coming soon, which will give people in the middle of a faith crisis a place to call, where they will receive support without proselytizing of any kind.

In addition to that, while Apostacon was/is mostly definitely a large team effort, Sarah was a driving force in the success of Apostacon last year, which has received high praise from several of our speakers.  Most of those speakers were people we were only able to get because of Sarah's involvement in Apostacon.  Without Sarah, Apostacon may have remained as good as it was before the name change form Midwest Freethought Conference, but it wouldn't have been become great.  And that's definitely where we're headed with Apostacon.

And then, as a side project, she stepped up to settle the Matt Dillahunty, Sye Ten Bruggencate back and forth debate challenges and got the damn thing scheduled.

So, if you want to be Atheist of the Year, that's what it takes.  Be a Getting Shit Done Machine.

Sarah with her award & Dan Fincke

I can only imagine how much more she'd be able to get done if she could keep her cell phone charged.

Edit:  Fixed the year

On The Similarities Of Mormons And Atheists

I'm at the American Atheists convention in Salt Lake City this weekend.  I caught a tweet, retweeted by Recovering From Religion, from an LDS member who works near the convention hotel and wanted to spend his lunch hour with some atheists.

It was an interesting experience.  Time was limited, so I intentionally avoided topics that would become debate, but I got to pick his brain a bit about Mormonism.  We talked about the colleges around town, I asked about Book of Mormon, and I finally learned what the deal is with the Institute of Religion that is near the University of Nebraska Omaha campus.  They're places to take courses to learn about Mormon theology, and they're intentionally put as close to colleges as possible.  It's presented as educational, but I suspect the purpose is to proselytize.  Either way, I hope to get a better look at them sometime this year.

If I keep talking to the guy I met, one thing I plan to dig deeper into is his comparison of Mormons & atheists.  At first it was based on the fact that both of us are seen as outsiders to the general Christian community in America, which goes along with the premise of a Daily Beast article today about the convention.

The convention this week will bring together in Salt Lake City two distinctly American movements, with remarkably similar demographics, that are in the process of emerging into a public sphere that has long considered them suspicious outsiders.

That part is true.  Both groups are seen as outsiders.  The thing is, it's for very different reasons.

For Mormons, that suspicion goes back to the 1800s, when, as a young movement, they were driven from town to town and subject to anti-Mormon riots (the Mormon founder, Joseph Smith, was killed by a mob in Illinois). 

The article does touch on one similarity in where the hate for both groups comes from.

That suspicion subsided a bit, helped by the church’s renunciation of polygamy in 1890, and cropped up again in the 1980s and 1990s, the result of scandals, a slow adoption of racial equality, and attacks from some right-wing evangelical Protestants.

The Christian Right are no fans of the Mormon Church, and they're certainly not fans of atheists.

The article doesn't mention that Joseph Smith was convicted of fraud, or the other issues that lead to Mormonism being not trusted.  It also doesn't mention that the main source of the mistrust toward atheists is Cold War anti-communism.

One hilarious similarity that my lunch companion made was the claim that both groups reject the supernatural.  I think the premise he intended was that both groups reject the supernatural more than Creationists like Ken Ham, and I suspect that's true to a degree.  Mormons do describe their god in less supernatural way than fundamentalist Protestants.

God is perfect, all wise, and all-powerful; the ruler of the universe. He is also merciful, kind, and just. He is our Father in Heaven. We are created in His image (Genesis 1:27). He has a body that looks like ours, but God’s body is immortal, perfected, and has a glory that words can’t describe. Because we are His children, He knows and loves each of us individually. He has a plan to help His children find joy in this life and return to live with Him when this life is over.

But they quite clearly believe in the supernatural.  It's kind of a requirement of being Mormon.  Or any other religion.

The author of the Daily Beast piece and my lunch companion were right about our 2 groups having some similarities, but we don't have similarities on any of what is the core of either group.  Mormons are still a religion, founded by a con man.  Atheism isn't a religion at all, and attendees of conventions like this one are primarily people who have escaped religion.

But the Daily Beast did get one thing right.

Well, the Mormons just had their Moment. And as for the atheists? While churches might be in decline, their numbers are growing.

Atheism is growing, and religion is shrinking.  And with good reason.  It's the same reason Phil Ferguson told a story on today's Dogma Debate about how, to get some kids to rethink their Christianity, he gave them both Bibles and asked them to read them.

Secular Therapy Project Reaches 3000 Clients

The Secular Therapy Project helps people find a doctor for their mental health, who won't push religion on their patients.  Recently, they reached a promising milestone with their 3000th client.  From Recovering From Religion's press release:

March 28, 2014 – FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – The Secular Therapist Project, a program of the non-profit organization Recovering From Religion, is thrilled to announce the registration of their 3,000^th client.

Program Director Dr. Darrel Ray states, “The Secular Therapist Project is an innovative resource connecting clients, via a confidential database, with registered secular therapists near them. Many of our clients reach out to us after growing frustrated from their previous providers. They’re being told to follow the recommendations of their pastors, who are usually unlicensed in mental health issues, or to just find another church. Some of our clients even report therapists insisting on “the power of prayer” or practicing new age gimmicks like “realigning your chakras” during therapy sessions. Many of our registered therapists also offer distance counseling, allowing clients in heavily religious areas to remotely access reliable mental health resources and care. “

“The rate of client growth has accelerated steadily since the project started in 2012, adding 1,000 clients in only the last 7 months. There are currently 171 registered secular therapists, all fully qualified, who applied to join the project via the website at www.seculartherapy.org. As of January 2014, 75% of Secular Therapist Project therapists have been contacted by one or more potential clients, 48% have been contacted by four or more, and 11% have been contacted by 10-20 new clients. The feedback received from clients regarding their experiences with therapists they’ve found through the database is overwhelmingly positive.

Executive Director Sarah Morehead adds, “This is clearly a valuable resource to so many, and we are thrilled at the ongoing success of this fantastic program. We are regularly in contact with people who have decided religion or supernatural answers are not for them, yet their only options for mental health care use supernatural recommendations. For those who want a reliable alternative to “alternative” mental health care, this is it.”

Registration and call contact with therapists is free, private, and confidential at www.seculartherapy.org. Recovering From Religion is led by Executive Director Sarah Morehead and provides practical support and resources to individuals reconsidering the role of religion in their lives.
###

Contact: Dr. Darrel Ray § Secular Therapist Project Program Director § Recovering From Religion
(512) 666-4630 § darrel@recoveringfromreligion.org § www.recoveringfromreligion.org
10940 Parallel Pkwy, Suite K-145 §  KS 66109

If you know a therapist who would qualify, please encourage them to sign up.

About A Different Debate (That Has Not Happened)

While tabling for Apostacon last year at ReasonFest, I learned of a plan that was being worked for Apostacon later that year.  Learning of this was on the condition that I didn't share the information because it was still in the works and it would have had its own announce done by Apostacon itself.

The goal was for a debate.  Matt Dillahunty vs Eric Hovind and Sye Ten Bruggencate.  If you're wondering who the hell Sye Ten Bruggencate is, you're wondering the same thing I was then and some friends were  the other day when I referenced him.

Here's the example of him I was shown.

The full show is here.

The gist is that he was entirely reliant on the tactic he has, Presuppositional Apologetics.  It involves an effective straw man of forcing the other person into a corner of solipsism by putting an intense focus on absolute knowledge, claiming only he can have knowledge (because God), and declaring anyone who doesn't claim absolute knowledge cannot know anything and thus cannot speak.

It's a childish word game.  When a member of the show called him out on it, instead dropping the game and having an adult conversation (the point of the show he was on), he immediately left in a tiff.

I wish I could say that was an isolated incident, but the more I learned about him, the more I learned that was his only debate tactic.  For instance, he pulled the same shit on Steve Shives and the other 2 who were on the Biblethumpingwingnut Show.

By the time my part in this story because, Matt had been dealing with Sye for a while, and he thought the potential for 2 vs 1 would get him to finally participate in a debate.  Multiple attempts were made by Apostacon to get in contact with them.  For a while, we received no response at all.  Eventually, a representative for Hovind declined citing schedule (a reasonable excuse).  We sent Sye enough e-mails that he cannot reasonably claim to have not seen them.  He never responded.

We eventually dropped the plan to attempt to make a debate happen out of logistical necessity.  We had a conference to plan and no time to play games.  Matt still came to Apostacon, where he did a magic show, that I hear was quite good^[1].

After that, I hadn't put any thought toward the failed attempt for a debate or Sye until Matt tagged Apostacon on Twitter in response to Sye tweeting this video.

In that video, Sye has a clip of Matt referencing the offer Sarah Morehead that I talked about above.  In his response to that, Sye lied about not being aware of the offer.  The only other option is that he's incredibly lazy about checking his e-mail.

Why is he lying?  Only he knows.

So, Matt responded.

In his response, Sye makes excuses about why he's still never called into the show anyone can call into and nitpicks trivial details.  In claiming he'd be hung up on, he's entirely ignoring the episodes Matt is referencing, where neither Matt Slick nor Ray Comfort were hung up on.  Sye has no good reason to think he would have been treated any differently.

I suspect that Sye decided to challenge Matt to a debate after seeing the Nye-Ham debate and decided to himself some attention.

If it was nearly anyone but Matt Dillahunty, I would advise not to waste your time with him Sye Ten Bruggencate, who I do not believe is capable of a civil, honest, or sincere debate.  But I think Matt is much more likely than most to effectively call him out on his bullshit.

Matt knows he won't convince Sye that he's wrong.  But he also knows that exposing Sye as being full of shit could make a difference with believers in the audience.  Matt knows that there will be potential future atheists in the audience.

My expectations for the debate are similar what Shives posted on Matt's first video.

I expect Sye's part of the debate to be thoroughly frustrating.  I expect him to be dishonest, mostly in the from quote mines and claims of exclusivity to absolute knowledge.

Sye claims he wants to expose "the atheist worldview" for what it is.  But all he has is word games.  So, to make the endeavor worthwhile, all Matt has to do is expose the dishonesty and terrible arguments for what they are.

If he does that, it will have the same result as the Nye-Ham debate, with even Christians saying the atheist won and comparing him to a conspiracy theorist.

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1.  I missed it due to Apostacon related obligations

I'm With JT Eberhard, Who Is With Ed Brayton

Joe Klein's Time cover story^[1] took a cheap shot^[2] at atheists, claiming there are no secular people doing charity.  Ed Brayton wrote to them^[3] about it.  So has JT Eberhard^[4].  And so have I:

I cannot help but be disappointed by the recent remarks in your publication by Joe Klein regarding atheists and charity^[1].  He wrote: 

"But there was an occupying army of relief workers, led by local first responders, exhausted but still humping it a week after the storm, church groups from all over the country — funny how you don’t see organized groups of secular humanists giving out hot meals — and there in the middle of it all, with a purposeful military swagger, were the volunteers from Team Rubicon."

On top of this being a demonstrably untrue statement , it's unnecessarily hurtful.  Atheists face enough problems^[6] without a cover story from one of the world's most respected publications taking cheap shots at us.  Nearly all of us have been told we deserve to burn in Hell forever.  Many atheists have a justified fear of their family or employers knowing of their lack of belief.  I've had friends disowned from family solely due to their atheism.  Others have lost jobs.

The word "godless" has as a listed definition^[7]:  "wicked; evil; sinful."  In other words, people treat atheism as synonymous with being evil.  We are constantly faced with claims that we cannot be moral without a god.

Atheists are often prohibited from holding public office in a variety of ways.  The US Constitution states^[8] "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States," but several states still have laws specifically prohibiting us from qualifying for elected positions.

The general electorate often refuses to vote for anyone who doesn't profess a belief in a god.  While people recently have become more willing to vote for an atheist for President^[9], we've still got a long way to go^[10].

Atheists face these issues and many others^[11].  We don't need a voice as prominent as Time making things worse.  That's why I'm writing to ask you to make up for it by doing a story on atheist charities such as The Foundation Beyond Belief^[12] or Recovering From Religion^[13] & their Hotline Project^[14].  Because the Klein article was a cover story, I think it's fair to ask that this story be given equal treatment.  Plus, it's not like they're not worthy of such coverage.  

Foundation Beyond Belief recently reached the milestone of a million dollars raised^[15].  That amount includes more than $45,000 related to the Oklahoma tornadoes, the very disaster Klein accused atheists of not helping after.  And Recovering From Religion helps people negatively impacted by religion, because of attitudes expressed by Klein, the other issues I listed above, and various others.

I hope you'll make things right rather than let Klein's slap in the face go uncorrected.

Time should make up for giving that bigotry the credibility that comes from a cover story in their publication.  And it's not outside of the realm of possibilities.  The more requests they get, the more likely they are to do a story on atheist charity.

So, please write to them and politely request they do so.

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1.  http://nation.time.com/2013/06/20/can-service-save-us/print/
2.  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2013/06/25/joe-klein-offers-a-pathetic-rebuttal-in-response-to-criticism-of-his-attack-on-atheists-in-time-cover-story/
3.  http://freethoughtblogs.com/dispatches/2013/06/27/tell-time-to-stop-dismissing-secular-generosity/
4.  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/wwjtd/2013/06/im-with-ed-brayton-its-time-to-email-time/
5.  http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2013/05/30/what-are-atheists-doing-for-the-victims-of-the-oklahoma-tornado/
6.  http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/religion/story/2011-12-10/religion-atheism/51777612/1
7.  http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/godless
8.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Religious_Test_Clause
9.  http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/religion/story/2012-07-26/athiest-poll-president/56516466/1
10.  http://abcnews.go.com/politics/t/blogEntry?id=16623786
11.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discrimination_against_atheists
12.  http://foundationbeyondbelief.org/
13.  http://recoveringfromreligion.org/
14.  http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2013/06/04/atheists-to-start-1-800-hotline/comment-page-8/
15.  http://foundationbeyondbelief.org/node/1867

He Almost Became A Priest, Became Atheist Instead

Recent changes to /r/atheism^[1] have resulted in a group of people upset to monitor the new posts^[2] and downvote all posts that aren't complaining about the new changes.  A recent victim of the protests was a man who posted his story of almost becoming a priest and ending up atheist^[3].  He gave me permission to share his story, but has since deleted his account for unknown reasons.

I thought I'd give a short introduction since I'm fairly new here.

My relationship with religion has been a very stormy one. I enjoy some of the cultural aspects (I'm probably unique in that regard on this forum.) But that's because I'm a professional musician and performed pretty much the entire English Cathedral repertoire at some point in my life. (Random fact: most choristers are atheist anyway.)

The storminess comes from the imprint that the fear of hell had on my heart from a very young age. My parents were very strict fundamentalists and had no difficulty telling me that people who did not hear about Jesus were going to burn for all eternity. When you're 8 years old, that's a rather traumatizing thought. It bothered me the first time my parents told me this, and it never stopped bothering me since. Even after liberalizing and dropping the doctrine of hell from my belief system at age 16, the fear persisted. What if I'm wrong? Then there were the question of the OT genocides, which bothered me from a young age as well.

My parents told me to read the Bible and it would strengthen my faith. Well, It's more likely that advice is what has led me here today. In college, because of my active participation in the church (Anglo-Catholic by choice), I made the decision to enter the priesthood. This was the first of three times I would made this decision, but I aborted every time, THANKFULLY! So I began reading the Homilies on the Book of Romans by St John Crysostom. If you ever want to deconvert someone, Crysostom is really the way to go. The man is a vile, misogynistic, homophobic, antisemite, and lots of other not nice thing. And yet he's one of the Three Holy Hierarchs, one of the three most important theologians in all history. I had to stop reading after about the 7th homily because it was so disgusting. (I don't want to make excessive comparisons, but in this case, I'm not sure excessive comparisons can be made.)

At this point I had been approved for sponsorship by my third parish. It's a very presitigious parish (eg. the rector has a knighthood) and I felt honored that they had selected me. But I had to put my studies down or else I was going to lose my faith. A year later I came out as gay. This was not a problem to my parish, but it was a problem to my more Evanglical fundamnetalist family. No matter how much liberal theology I had imbibed, I could not escape the fear of hell.

And then one day my mind went into a loop. "I'm going to go to hell. I deserve to go to hell. How could I not go to hell. What a terrible human being I am. I deserve every bad thing that has ever happened and more. Hell is clearly where I'm going. I'm going to go to hell." This loop lasted for almost four weeks. I could not get my brain to stop repeating these and similar words over and over again. (I was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder which may explain the loop.) I dropped into the deepest depression imaginable, and I'm already used to depression. It became nearly impossible for me to go to work and stay anywhere near concentrated. I had been gripped by fear, and the fear seemed totally reasonable. I had failed. I had fallen short. I could have done a hundred times better and I would still deserve horrible things. Worst of all I was gay. And while I had theologically reasoned myself out of believing that being gay was a sin, that's not what I was taught and what I was taught was taking over.

At the end of four weeks I said the wone thing that got me out of the loop. I said it so meekly, and I was so scared. But I already knew that I believed it. My entirely theological understand of god and of the world had been eroded down. And so I said it, "I am an atheist."

"I am an atheist."

"I am an atheist."

I was still terrified. But the loop in my mind stopped. And I realized I hadn't believed in god in years. Everything I had been doing was trying to create an image of myself that my parents could be proud of. Also, there were those cultural aspects of Anglo-Catholicism that I could have fun doing, even if it was pointless motions and dressing up. I mean, I have a campy side. But all of that fell apart quickly when I finally accepted reality for the first time.

I had never read any Dawkins, or Harris, or Hitchens. I'm not even sure I knew there names at the time. But the entire super-structure of my theological beliefs came tumbling down. There was nothing I could do to hold them up. I didn't want to anymore. I am an atheist. :)

PS Even my screenname here is a referece to that past as Sarum Blue was my favorite liturgical color. The papists will say it's not liturgical color but I really dgaf.

If you're familiar with the stories of Teresa MacBain & Jerry DeWitt^[4], or any other graduates of The Clergy Project^[5], parts of his story probably sound familiar too.  It also reminded me a little of Matt Dillahunty's story .

I hope this guy wasn't scared off Reddit by the protest downvotes.  His story is quite common, our society is rough on people in his situation.  I hope he ended up using the link I gave him for Recovering From Religion^[7], as I think it would a great resource for him.

Studying religion has a way of turning people atheist, but disbelief is the expected outcome of people honestly investigating invalid claims.

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1.  http://mashable.com/2013/06/14/reddit-atheism-mods/
2.  http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/new/
3.  http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/1gb4w6/almost_became_a_priest_now_definitely_an_atheist/
4.  http://aparticularblogbyaparticularatheist.blogspot.com/2012/12/twelve-apostates-former-clergy.html
5.  http://www.clergyproject.org/
6.  http://youtu.be/uzlZVHPJ5n4
7.  http://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/

This Is Why I Support Recovering From Religion

A little while ago, a request was made on the Recovering From Religion Facebook page^[1].

We have an urgent request for help from the Denver area. Someone there is trying to escape her ultra-Orthodox Jewish community. This has been verified by a social worker. Her most urgent need is housing. If you can help or know a resource to direct her, please contact me IMMEDIATELY at admin@recoveringfromreligion.org. Folks, this is why the Hotline Project will make such a difference. Imagine her being able to make one call to hear a friendly voice to help point her towards an Exit Strategy.

People responded on that thread and elsewhere with suggestions & offers, resulting in this follow-up^[2].

We had an outpouring of support for the woman escaping her orthodox Jewish community. I have passed all the information I received on to her case manager, and the CM has assured me they are working with the woman. She also has my direct contact information, and should we hear from her, many of you who offered your homes as a safe space will likely hear from me at that time. For now, I have been informed she has been admitted to an inpatient ward for severe depression, and they will work with her on establishing a safe place when she is able to discharge. Thank you again, to each of you who either shared our message or contacted us offering assistance. Your kindness is overwhelming, and I know the facility was blown away by your generosity. I appreciate you all so much! ~Sarah Morehead, Executive Director, Recovering From Religion

This is why I support Recovering From Religion.  Religion does very real damage to real people.  Recovering From Religion is doing something about it in tangible ways.  If you'd like to help them do more of this, you can donate here^[3].

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1.  http://www.facebook.com/RecoveringFromReligion/posts/490287517687786
2.  https://www.facebook.com/RecoveringFromReligion/posts/492584884124716
3.  http://recoveringfromreligion.org/donate/recovering-from-religion/

Has Recovering From Religion Helped You?

Has Recovering from Religion^[1] helped you?  If so, they'd like to hear about it^[2].

We get "hate mail" all the time, but let's focus on the positive! If you'd like to share how Recovering From Religion has helped you, we'd love to hear it! If you'd like us to consider your comments for inclusion on the website, please email a brief comment to admin@recoveringfromreligion.org and include the first name and last initial you would like listed. Thanks for being a part of our world!

If they haven't already helped you, and your life is negatively impacted by religion, they probably could^[3].

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1.  http://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/
2.  http://www.facebook.com/RecoveringFromReligion/posts/474679855915219
3.  http://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/pages/rrgroups
4.

Twelve Apostates - Former Clergy

This had to be my first post in this series because, at Skepticon 5, I let it slip to Jerry that I was writing about him and he wanted me to publish it.  Although, I'll forgive him for not remembering that two minute conversation out of a weekend packed full of fun.

I'm generally not a fan of excessively positive people.  Jerry DeWitt (former minister, the first graduate of The Clergy Project, and Executive Director of my favorite national atheist organization, Recovering From Religion) is one of the exceptions.  He's had a rough time over the last couple years, because he dared be honest about his loss of faith.

He lost jobs.  He lost friends.  He lost family.  He became a pariah in his home town.  But he's handled it with grace & dignity.  At least as far as I've been able to see.  The man is quickly becoming a star of the atheist community, but you're not likely to catch him ever admitting it.  I'm excited to see where his upcoming book takes him.

At the 2012 American Atheists Convention, while helping out at the Recovering From Religion table, I briefly met a woman who was introduced to me as Lynn.  I had no idea was about to happen or that, when she left the room, she was headed to go on stage.

The cheers in that video were so loud, they could be heard in the next room.

Neither intended to become atheists.  It's just something that happened because they were intellectually honest and applied critical thinking to their religious beliefs.  They could have stayed ministers and never dealt with the turmoil they went through in their coming out, a process much more difficult for clergy than the average atheist.

Except that they couldn't have, because they have integrity.  It takes bravery, for someone whose livelihood comes from being a believer, to come out as atheist.  It takes integrity to stay out instead of having a "come to Jesus moment", pretending to believe again, getting your old friends and family back, and making a bunch of money by selling the story.

Things are working out overall for both of them now, with Jerry's book and Teresa working for American Atheists, but they had no idea what was going to happen when they came out.  Although, they both appear to me (from the handful of times I've met them) to be the kind of positive people who don't dwell on the negative.

These two are far from the only clergy coming out.  They're just two of the most well known.  Hundreds more have joined The Clergy Project and will graduate without much recognition.  But they're not doing it for fame.  They're doing it because they do not want to live a lie.  And for that, they have my respect.

Please Do Not Put Money In The Bucket

I am pretty careful about where my donations to charity go.  This is because of a combination of me not having a lot to give and me caring about how that money is used.  It's mostly the latter, because even if I were a millionaire, I would still not give to certain charities and would still be opposed to my donations being misused.

At the top of that list is The Salvation Army.  I think their immoral practices are well known enough by now, I needn't bother detailing them too much.  Among they're many flaws, is their anti-gay policy.  Like most bigots, they attempt to disguise it as adherence to their religion, as if that makes bigotry suddenly okay instead of pointing out the obvious flaws in their religion.

They site many Bible verses to justify their bigotry, but there's a particular one that sticks out like a beacon of  ignorance and hate.  Leviticus 18:22, 23

I'll be quoting the NIV Bible, as that's the one they say is theirs.

Leviticus 18:22:

Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.

Okay.  It's bigoted, but that certainly is what their religion's book says about the gays.  They also included   Leviticus 18:23:

Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.

That's right.  The Salvation Army is citing their Bible's words about beastiality on their page dedicated to their stance on homosexuality.  They are comparing homosexuality to beastiality.  I wonder if Dan Savage is aware of this.

This is what you're supporting if you put money into their buckets, or otherwise give to this organization.  If you would like to send them a message, there is this:

It's meant to be put into the buckets in place of cash.  Atheism Resource has been nice enough to put up a .pdf of these for easy printing.  Whether you use these vouchers or not, I have a couple of requests of you.

Please do not berate the bell ringers.  They probably do not understand how immoral Salvation Army is, and being rude will not do anything to convince them to change their minds.  Talk to them calmly if you must, but do so civilly, back it up with facts, and know when it's time to walk away.

If you're able, please be sure to donate to good organizations.  Last year, The Examiner published a list of worthy, secular charities and linked to a longer list.

The non-profits I've donated to this year were:

Secular Student Alliance

Recovering From Religion

Kiva

Wounded Warrior Project

Please feel free to share your favorite non-profits in the comments.

(Found via a friend linking to Atheism Resource and New York City Atheists)

(2012-11-25) EDIT:  There was some understandable dislike of the term "voucher".  One of the people who disliked it took the initiative to create an alternate version of it.

I like this one better and it's the one I'll be using.  Click here to download a pdf for printing.

Matching Donation Offer For Recovering From Religion

My favorite national atheist organization is Recovering From Religion.  The local chapters function as support groups for people negatively impacted by religion.  They are for everyone from lifelong atheists to people who still believe but are questioning or otherwise experiencing problems.  They address the problems of religion right where they are occurring.  With people.

I bring them now because they have some news worth sharing:

We have exciting news that we are SO thankful for! After Darrel Ray's talk in Tucson on his book Sex and God, Steven Uhl stood up and challenged all 120 people in the audience to donate to RR AND he would match dollar for dollar any giving through the end of the tax year, up to $2,000. We are overwhelmed with his generosity and wonderfully surprised as well. The group gave $800 which matched equals $1600 for RR. He has said he will match up to another $1400 and maybe more! What better way to double your money than to send your tax-deductible donation to Recovering From Religion at http://recoveringfromreligion.org/pages/Donate.

We are growing fast and can only sustain our growth with your support. Our motto is, "There are thousands of groups that will get you into religion, ours is the only one that will help you get out." We need your help so we can help others!

So, if you were ever inclined to donate to this wonderful organization, now's the time.  If you want to help, but cannot afford a donation, you can help by using the link on their website when making purchases from Amazon.  They get a small percentage from those purchases, without it affecting the price you pay.

Pro Life Kills

On Gawker today:

A 31-year-old woman admitted to a hospital in Galway, Ireland, late last month with severe back pain was revealed to be miscarrying, but doctors repeatedly refused to abort the fetus.

Savita Halappanavar, who was 17 weeks pregnant at the time, eventually developed a life-threatening infection to which she succumbed a week later.

People who call themselves "Pro Life" often claim they respect the sanctity of human life.  I call bullshit.

I am someone who personally opposes the practice of abortion.  I hate that it exists, and I hate that it is sometimes (while still rarely) used as a backup birth control.  But I'm not so selfish as to attempt to force my personal opinion on other people's bodies.  And I don't have my head so far up my as that I would let a woman die because I dislike a procedure that would save her life.

The very least that should happen is these doctors immediately losing their licenses to practice medicine.  Although, manslaughter is an appropriate word to use here.

(Found via Recovering From Religion-Tucson, Arizona)

Step On Some Cracks

Someone recently asked in the atheist group I am a part of if we ever pander to theists we know when they lose loved ones.  I responded with:

Absolutely not. I refuse to do anything that makes it appear as if I think their beliefs are valid or worthy of my respect. Pandering to their beliefs does nothing but reinforce the foolish notion that their beliefs are required in the process of dealing with loss. I would rather be honest and show that it's possible to cope with difficult times as an adult should, without fairy tales.

This reminded me of something, that I often think about, from kindergarten.  

Step on a crack, break your mother's back

I'm sure most people reading this have heard that phrase.  Some of you maybe even avoided stepping on a crack at least once because of it.  I had classmates who said the phrase, actively avoided stepping on cracks because of it, and told others to do the same.  I responded in the only appropriate way I could think of.

I would purposely let them see me stepping on cracks.  I didn't make a big show of it, but I think I did call them stupid a time or two.  I thought this superstition was stupid.  I thought all superstition was stupid.  I was never ostracized for rejecting their superstition, and I think the willingness of people like me to challenge them is part of how they outgrew it.  

I think this part of my childhood is a good example of three things.

1.  It displays just how silly a thing otherwise intelligent people are capable of believing.  Sure, just about everyone outgrows that particular silly belief.  But it's really not much sillier than the beliefs many adults hold.

2.  It's my constant reminder of the damage religion can cause and how it sticks with you.  I think of it nearly every time I walk over cracks.  I didn't even believe the superstition, and it is still in my head nearly 30 years later.  I can only imagine what children from fundamentalist backgrounds go through.  It's part of why Recovering From Religion is the organization I support more than any other.

3.  It is one my favorite anecdotes to show what kind of atheist I am.  I could have played along with them or feigned belief.  Or I could have simply not participated and let go on believing this silly thing unchallenged a while longer.  But I was having none of that.  It was probably a harmless game to most of the kids.  But a few treated it as true and were attempting to dictate the behavior of the rest of us.  So I stepped on the cracks.

The world needs more of that.  Too many people use religion to force stupidity and hate upon society.  They would be far less able to do that if more of us would simply step on the cracks.  With no one stepping on the cracks, the foolish superstition runs the risk of persisting.  The more people not afraid to publicly step on the cracks, the more the believers are forced to keep their silly beliefs to themselves and to quietly avoid the cracks without bothering the rest of us about it.